Inaugural Post (Wherein Much Blabbering Occurs Due To The Late Hour)

“Why do you keep starting over?”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t answer my question with another question! Who do you think you are, David Caruso?”

No internet, I don’t think I’m David Caruso at all. For one thing, I look awful in sunglasses. Plus I’ll never be able to pull off those ridiculous stances. Maybe he just has awkward shoulders? I shouldn’t judge. After all, don’t we all have figure flaws that need minimizing? Personally, I’m getting a bit on the chunkier side. And you internet? Well to be perfectly honest you’re starting to become a swollen and entirely unappealing mess. But you know what? Dove says that’s okay. And we all know Dove wouldn’t lie to us.

That’s right: Advertising is truth, truth advertising.* At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what Keats was getting at. Right?

No you see internet (can I call you “internet”?) the thing is that I’m a pretty restless dude. I don’t sleep, I drink too much coffee and even more whiskey. I’m constantly restarting things, launching spectacular failures, canceling promising projects, and generally throwing my life into an uproar in the name of BEING ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT FUCKING CRAZY!

Really. I’m not even counting my crushing depression and seasonal mood swings in this. I’m fairly certain I’m going to devolve into a blithering psychotic mess at any moment. Or at the very least find myself pulling a Jack Torrance and sitting in front of a typewriter until my brain melts. Though, I’d like to think I’ll have a decidedly Arthur Dentish edge.

And I. Can’t. Wait. I mean come on, crazy guys get all the chicks. Look at Hunter S. Thompson and Bukowski.

So basically internet (I hope it’s still okay that I’m calling you “internet”) here I am again: Crazy, strung out, more than a little hungover, and begging for your attention. Love me internet. Love me like I love you.

At least until I get antsy.

*Sidenote: One instance where advertising is indeed beauty (and in turn truth) is the Levi’s “Go Forth” campaign. I still get chills every time I see one of their ads.

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